Month: January 2018

Google Translate Introduces “English To 6th Grade Level Spanish” Option

Google cofounder Larry Page said: “Yeah, it’s a pretty great option for the seniors that are in their fifth consecutive year of Spanish 1. You just type in whatever you’re trying to translate and boom, your text is translated with 10-13% accuracy. Nosotros may translate into Ellos and Hablar might become Decir, but you’ll definitely …

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ISS Receives Funding To Purchase One Copy Of The Board Game Candy Land To Boost Morale

In an attempt to boost the morale of the infamous ISS room, the Hamilton County Department of Education purchased one copy of the board game Candy Land last week. “Upon walking into the ISS room in the morning, a pair of randomly selected students will be required to open the board game Candy Land and …

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Administration Decides To Rename Power Wednesdays To Wacky Thursdays, Despite Still Taking Place On Wednesday

“Yeah, we really wanted to make sure everyone is always on their toes. We’re already halfway into the year, and the teachers are finally starting to realize which days students can and cannot get Directed Studies passes, and that’s simply unacceptable,” said administrator Dr Gatlinburg. “We discussed this idea becoming official after it was proposed …

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Teacher Utilizes 20 Years Of Teaching Experience And $100,000 Masters Degree To Detect Vape Smoke Outside Hallway Bathrooms

“I honestly really love standing outside of the bathrooms during lunch blocks instead of having lunch with other faculty members”, said local science teacher Kendra Whitfield, adding that having a planning period definitely throws her whole day out of whack, and how she would much rather dedicate an hour of her time to analyzing the …

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