Month: February 2018

#MeToo Movement Inspires Middle School Student Council To Only Give Cookiegrams To Select Girls

“This whole Henry Weinstein thing has really inspired the Middle School Student Council,” said 8th grade president Emily Clark, adding that her mom sometimes watches Entertainment Tonight and how it’s really changed her political ideology. “The downfall of Harry Weinstein has had this enormous impact on the world, and I think that’s incredible. As the …

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Administration Decides: “Yep, We’re Dropping All Classes Except For Directed Studies!”

After an extensive voting process, the administration at Signal Mountain Middle High School voted on what classes students would take for the 2018-2019 school year. Following eight intense months of administrative campaigning, the administration was pleased to reach the conclusion, “Yep, we’re dropping all classes except for Directed Studies!”   “But this conclusion wasn’t easy …

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Student Nails Down School Legacy By Having 7 Tardies In One Week, Beating Older Brother’s Record 5

“I’ve finally done the impossible,” said junior Turner Dades. “Somehow, I managed to be tardy 7 consecutive days in one school week, despite there being only 5 weekdays. If that doesn’t lock in my school legacy, I don’t know what will,” he said, adding that he now owns the school, and how the future students …

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