BREAKING — In an earth shattering revelation that only so many people had been thinking, Beak Report founder and writer Harrison Faulkner admitted to ‘kind of dropping the ball’ with the whole ‘Real News of Signal Mountain thing’ in a recent interview. “Like, I don’t want to say that I have or have not been focused on other things recently, but shit, I guess I’ve kind of dropped the ball with this whole Beak Report extravaganza. I definitely had much more focused intentions with season 2, but all of that optimistic goal setting has kind of just absolutely gone out the window this year. On second thought, I’m not even that busy, I’ve just lacked any sort of enthusiasm to write any content whatsoever. Not because I can’t think of viable real news, I’m just too damn lazy to even open up my computer.” “I definitely planned on posting two articles a week, it all being very substantive, and people adoring my project,” said Harrison, adding that he was even considering finally releasing an oh-so breathtaking and instantly classic merchandise store, perfect for the upcoming holidays. “I mean, I might just get my act together eventually; it’s something that’s going to take a lot of processing and determination. Right now, I’ve gotta go complete a month’s worth of late Khan Academy assignments.”
At press time, Harrison was seen browsing the internet for a new backpack, having little to no intentions of actually writing substantive content for The Beak Report.